Gluing My Hair Back In

So things have looked up in the recent days. First, Kenzie and I had a big long talk after school the other day. It was fruitful. She has improved vastly. I also stripped her room down to just her bed, books (all three of them) and her journal. She has been earning back items for her room by showing respect to her family. This has helped a lot. I think sometimes we forget how much we really do have, until it is not there. We are also working really hard on catching her when she is good and giving praise, even if she just remembers to blow her nose with a Kleenex, we are all over it. We decided to try and have more individual time with each of the girls too. I think we may have a case of too much togetherness on our hands. It is the old divide and conquer theory. I am also working very hard on using empathetic statements and listening but not reacting to her statements. Allow me to illustrate. Kenzie: "Mom you always believe Emily and not me!" I resist the urge to give about 1500 different examples of how that is not true and instead I say, "I bet that makes you feel very frustrated." Kenzie's face reads: (Did I hear what I thought I heard????, but she is listening) I continue: "What can we do about it?". Kenzie: "A and B". Me: "Fantastic! (My favorite interjection) and how about we try C and D too." So far so good. I am slowly learning I don't have to be right all the time and I can leave somethings unsaid. Hey...that is what I was trying to teach Kenzie...imagine that!!!! We will see how this pans out. I know it is not going to be perfect and this is just the beginning. There will be bigger bumps ahead where I will be ripping all of my hair out, but I can recover.